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Why do happy people have affairs?

It can be challenging to try to answer a question: why even happy people cheat? I work with same-sex and opposite-sex couples, and infidelity is a very prevalent issue that I see in my practice. I also know the pain, and the damage affairs can do to people. Infidelity is a value-laden, multi-dimensional, and more complicated act than people can even think. I do not advocate for cheating; I am just aware of the variety of human behaviors.

Yes, unhappy people cheat on their partners due to boredom, sexlessness, loneliness, revenge, lack of communication, substance use, etc. And yes, people in loving relationships cheat as well.

So, why HAPPY PEOPLE CHEAT? What are their real motives? What is the meaning of the affair? Are these people looking for another or different version of themselves? Is it a sign of a crisis of identity? A rejection of the restricted self or an attempt to reconnect with self and feel alive again?

Find out here on what Esther Perel, a couples therapist and the author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, says about unfaithfulness, one of the most controversial social issues.

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