Month: October 2017

It can be challenging to try to answer a question: why even happy people cheat? I work with same-sex and opposite-sex couples, and infidelity is a very prevalent issue that I see in my practice. I also know the pain, and the damage affairs can do to people. Infidelity is a value-laden, multi-dimensional, and more complicated act than people can even think. I do not advocate for cheating; I am just aware of the variety of human behaviors.

Yes, unhappy people cheat on their partners due to boredom, sexlessness, loneliness, revenge, lack of communication, substance use, etc. And yes, people in loving relationships cheat as well.

So, why HAPPY PEOPLE CHEAT? What are their real motives? What is the meaning of the affair? Are these people looking for another or different version of themselves? Is it a sign of a crisis of identity? A rejection of the restricted self or an attempt to reconnect with self and feel alive again?

Find out here on what Esther Perel, a couples therapist and the author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, says about unfaithfulness, one of the most controversial social issues.

Why do people ghost? How ghosting affects the ghosts and their victims? Why it leaves mental bruises? Do we question ourselves? Why is empathy so important?
Some of my clients, who experienced ghosting, found these two articles very helpful in understanding and dealing with this cultural phenomenon, so I decided to share them with you:

• https://bit.ly/2gL2PkO
• https://bit.ly/2BaNxD1

I have recently read Travis Bradberry’s article 18 Behaviors of Emotionally Intelligent People (click here https://bit.ly/2i0R5Ag). According to the author, here are some of the characteristics that highly emotionally intelligent persons have:

• They have an extensive emotional vocabulary,
• They are assertive and know how to say ‘no,’
• They let go of grudges (forgive but do not forget),
• They are curious (and empathetic!) about other people,
• They are flexible and embrace change,
• They know their strengths and weaknesses,
• They are open-minded and self-confident,
• They give without expecting anything in return,
• They neutralize toxic people,
• They do not seek to achieve a perfect standard,
• They regularly take time off,
• They stop and challenge negative self-talk.