Some myths about sex that my clients bring to our sessions are:
Non-sexual affection negatively affects eroticism.
Practicing loving touch (cuddling, hugging, massage, etc.) is very important for both partners because it helps them feel desired, desirable, loved, and connected. It is interesting how culture affects the perception of touch. Sidney Jourard, a psychologist, found that couples who went out to dinner touched one another 185 times per hour in Mexico City, 115 times in Paris, 0 times in London while the average in Gainesville (Florida) was two times an hour.
Men are sexual machines.
It is one of the biggest myths about sex. Men are not ready to have sex with any women/men, in any situation, at any time. 90% of males experienced erectile problems by age forty. Many men lose their initial erection during prolonged pleasuring, and it is just normal for erections to wax and wane a few times.
Men should always make the first move in sex.
In heterosexual satisfied and resilient relationships, both partners feel free to initiate sexual activities and are comfortable to refuse sex. Initiation of sex by women helps men reduce performance pressure that many men experience. Also, couples whose sex life is well, communicate openly and directly about what they want from their partners.
A man who has sex with another man (MSM) is a gay or bisexual.
This could be the truth but only partially. Many men, who are married to females, engage in sexual activity with another man without being part of gay culture. Being gay is not just behavior; it is an identity and men who have sex with other men do not associate themselves to it. Many MSM do not practice anal sex. Instead, they may engage in mutual masturbation or oral sex exclusively. They also see sex as a sport and physical activity, without being emotionally attached to another man (no talking, kissing, hugging).
‘Clitoral’ vs. ‘vaginal’ orgasm.
This distinction was proposed by Sigmund Freud and is not scientifically proven. Researchers found that women orgasm reached through intercourse, masturbation, or any other type of stimulation produce the same physiological (biological) response although their subjective feeling of satisfaction varies and might be slightly different.
Masturbation is harmful and selfish.
There is no scientific evidence that sexual self-stimulation is wrong or harmful except if people masturbate exclusively even when they have an available partner or if it causes injuries due to rough stimulation. Three most common reasons for masturbation are to relax, to relieve sexual tension, and unavailable partner. Other reasons are boredom, pleasure, fear of sexually transmitted infections and to get to sleep. Researchers found that women achieve orgasms more reliably through masturbation than through partnered sex. Researchers also reported that although married men have more sex than single men, they also masturbate more than single men. Masturbation helps men dealing with erectile problems.
And don’t forget: As with everything else, overcoming myths about sex requires an open mind, curiosity, critical thinking, and evidence!
