Absent sexual desire and low libido, both in men and women, is a common sexual issue that I encounter in my practice. There are many possible reasons that can diminish sexual desire. Very often, low libido is rather the result of multiple interconnected factors than a single cause.
What causes low libido?
If you have ever wondered why your sexual desire changes, here are some common reasons for that.
Frequent biological or physical causes of low libido include menopause, low testosterone, hypothyroidism, type 2 diabetes, cancer, and high blood pressure. Also, the side effects of medications (narcotics, SSRI antidepressants, chemotherapy drugs, oral contraceptives), poor sleep, alcohol and drug use have negative impacts on sexual desire. Women suffering from vaginismus (or any other sexual pain issue) and men with erectile dysfunction may lose interest in sex.
Some of the psychological factors that might be relevant to the loss of sexual desire are poor body image, fatigue, stress, depression, and attention-deficit disorder. People who experience guilt and shame or have a history of sexual trauma report absent or low libido.
Relational barriers to sexual desire can be power struggles, poor communication, alienation, criticism, secrets (e.g., sexual orientation, fetish), anger, resentments, boredom or lack of sexual diversity. Pregnancy, fear of intimacy, and becoming a parent frequently impact couples’ interest to be sexual. Also, couples who are trying to conceive report having a hard time with maintaining sexual desire.
Socio-cultural components that can directly affect sexual desire are related to lack of education and often negative attitude that some cultural or religious groups can hold towards sexual orientation, gender expression, sexual pleasure, premarital sex, etc.
How to treat low libido and lack of desire?
Libido issues tend to be complex and challenging to treat. Comprehensive and effective approach may include medical intervention (if there are biological factors) and combining couples counseling and sex therapy. Addressing low libido, mindfulness practice, learning to reduce/ eliminate sexual turnoffs, and to increase sexual turnons can restore sexual desire and lead towards achieving a more pleasurable and satisfying sex life.
